I grew up as an Air Force brat, never living in one place for very long, 3 years at the most. I went to Kindergarten in Alaska (before it was a state) after moving there from Chicago, first grade in Pennsylvania, then on to San Mateo, California for the year my father was in Korea. Then Rantoul, Illinois, Hanau, Germany (before the Berlin wall was built), and Fargo, North Dakota for my senior year in high School. Before Chicago there were a number of different places, but I don’t remember them.
It’s an unusual way to grow up. While I was in college at Iowa State, I went to see a counselor for some reason I don’t remember. He gave me the Minnesota Whatchamacallit Personality Test to see where I was at. When I went to talk to him about the results he said that either I was lying when I answered the questions, or my background was just too weird for the test to be valid.
I never had a friend for more than a couple of years. I saw a few of my relatives occasionally, but not very often. My brothers were separated from me by four and eight years, so I didn’t have much to do with them. My parents were fine people, but it was an Anglo-Saxon consciousness with few outward exhibitions of emotion. My world and my parents’ world were very different and unaware of each other.
I think an unconscious yearning for family and friends was a major factor in why I was attracted to the Farm, but it didn’t really work. I always felt apart during the eight years I was there. Now that I’m 74, I yam what I yam, as Popeye says, and I don’t worry about it too much. I function pretty well in social situations, and there are people whose company I enjoy, but I am essentially a solitary person.
Now I am on social media and I have… Acquaintances? Friends? Viewers? I don’t know what you call them, but I have an online persona expressed on Facebook, Twitter, and my blog that reaches some small number of people. It’s a way of interacting that is congenial. I get praise and blame, likes and insults, but they are removed in time and space, so I can deal with them at my own pace on my own terms.